ways to annoy the losties
by PookieS
Summary: the title says it all
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Ways to annoy the people of lost:

1)run up to Jack and Sawyer yelling "it's finally over, Kate chose Hurley!"

2)tell Claire that Charlie and Desmond would make a cute couple

3)chase Locke around with the wheelchair

4)lock Jack in a room, then barge in with popcorn yelling "home movies" and make him watch

the tape of Sawyer/Kate

5)rock back and forth in front of Hurley muttering "4 8 15 16 23 42"

6)ask Ben if his mommy didn't hug him enough

7)ask Sawyer why he didn't shoot the boar

8)write Charlie's obituary, translate it into song, and sing it to him constantly

9)make fun of Jin in American

10)burn Sayid's pictures

11)constantly ask Sun if the baby is Michael's

12)frame and hang Kate's mug shot

13)dress up as a polar bear and run around camp

14)point out to Claire that in a matter of hours the paper that she tied to he bird will:

a)fall off b)get wet and become unreadable c)become bird food

15)constantly try to sell Locke hair growth formula

16)dress up as Jack's father and walk around waving at him

17)congratulate Ben o coming out of the closet

18)constantly call Hurley "Buddha" and laugh

19)ask Sawyer if he's seen his daughter recently

20)tell Charlie not to worry, Desmond will take care of Claire when he dies

21)shave all the hair off of Sayid's hair

22)leave Kate notes saying _Kate I am your conscience... _and list all of her crimes

23)run around yelling "others" at the top of your lungs

24)scream "Claire, Danielle took the baby again!" when she runs off to find them, take the baby yourself

25)run after Locke yelling "I want my kidney back!"

26)ask Jack if he was ever married, repeatedly

27)ask Ben if the other kids ever made fun of his huge head and beady little eyes

28)make paper airplanes and repeatedly throw them at Kate

29)stalk Locke while muttering "Teresa fell up the stairs, Teresa fell down the stairs..." over and over again

30)"No, Vincent! Don't run through the fence that killed Patchy!..."

Yes, I am well aware that I have problems. review please!!!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Ok I'm adding another chapter because I've gotten a few requests for more. So, here you go:

Chapter Two

1)steal the skeleton's head and put it in Kate's tent with a note next to it that says _Tommy_

2)laugh at Ben while jogging by and point out that you can run while he's in a wheelchair

3)blindfold people, put them in the Dharma car, and push them down the huge hill

4)run up to Hurley and yell "look, it's a diversion"then laugh when he tries to figure out what you're talking about

5)draw cartoons on Locke's head with a sharpe

6)run around pretending to be an other's spy and calling yourself double-o-negative

7)run up to Charlie screaming "killer bees, killer bees!"

8)tie Desmond to a tree and tell him to use his psychic powers to get himself out

9)ask Hurley if he has talked to his invisible friend lately

10)ask Jack if you can borrow the keys to the gun case for the day. tell him the voices told you to clean them

11)ask Locke what's up with his current need to blow up everything in sight

12)lead a large group of people into the forest and purposely get lost (am I the only one that thinks it's weird that everyone always knows exactly where they're going on this show?)

13)ask Sawyer where Kate is, then say "oh yeah, she left you here and went to go find Jack"

14)find the poisonous spiders and walk around randomly paralyzing people, then put them in embarrassing positions and draw on them

15)walk up to Jack while repeatedly snapping your fingers and say "guess what, I have cdo, which is the same as ocd, except it's in alphabetical order, like it should be!"

16)conduct a synchronized swimming competition in the ocean

17)nickname Jack "Jack the Ripper" , then make him a red hero's cape that says "Jack the Ripper will save us all"

18)steal Charlie's guitar and form a singing group, then walk around calling yourselves the moronic tabernacle choir

19)create a sea food restaurant

20)dress up as an Indian, call yourself She Who Ends Life and chase people around the jungle with a spear and/or crossbow

Did you like it? Did you hate it ? Do you want to recommend me to a good therapist?

Did anyone see the promo for next week? Kate and Juliet seem to be getting along REAL well... should be interesting...


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own lost

Chapter 3:

1)run around clomping coconuts together and try to convince people that you are riding a horse

2)walk around pretending to be Ana Lucia and telling people you are evil and have come back as one of the undead to seek your revenge and the only way to get rid of you is to drive a stake through your heart

3)hide in the trees and when people pass by growl at them and yell "I am the island monster" then jump down on them

4)randomly throw yourself on the ground screaming "the fumes, the fumes!"

5)put red dye on your arm and run up to Hurley yelling "I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding!" then laugh when he faints

6)steal Jin's watch

7)whenever you see Desmond give him a wide eyed look ans scream "the shining!" then run away screaming

8)see how many people you can fit into a cage at once

9)steal Nikki and Paulo's walkie talkie and contact the other saying:

a) hi, this is Susie from Susie's fat camp!

b)I'm calling from behind the bushes...

c) or ask for Ben and sing Mary had a little lamb as loud as possible in his ear

10)randomly run out of the jungle screaming "the British are coming, the British are coming"

11) tell Charlie you can sing just as well as him. attempt to prove it by randomly strumming his guitar while singing the Oscar Myer Weener song

12)change identities every day just to see if anyone notices

13)write Jack notes saying that you are cixelsyd ...(dyslexic)

14)ask Locke if he's afraid of heights

15)tell Sawyer redneck jokes

16)constantly ask Claire if her natural hair color is blonde or black

17)leave Juliet in the middle of the jungle with a note that says "abandoned"

18)pretend to be a psychologist and walk around diagnosing people with non-existent illnesses

19)randomly run out of the jungle screaming "we're all going to die"

20)use Echo's Jesus stick to play fetch with Vincent

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I'm going away for Easter tomorrow so I figured I'd update this before I leave ...

so I'll have reviews to look forward to when I come back...(hint, hint, nudge, nudge...)

Anyway, just curious, what does everyone think about Juliet? I think she's up to something...


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Chapter 4:

1)chain Jack and Sawyer together

2)give Sayid a manicure when he falls asleep

3)play dead and when Jack tries to bury you jump up and yell "boo!"

4)run to the beach screaming about a fake cave in

5)steal the wheelchair and roll around yelling "look, I'm John Locke" then jump up and yell "I can walk again!"

6)write disturbing love songs and give them to Claire in Charlie's name

7)write disturbing love songs and give them to Desmond in Charlie's name

8)blindfold people and throw them in the ocean

9)make theme songs for people, examples:

Kate: Buttons

Jack: Man, I feel like a woman

Sawyer: Bad to the Bone

Locke: The Lumberjack Song

Jin: Kung Fu Fighting

Ben: the abc's

Hurley: Itsi Bitsi Tini Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

10)attempt to build a tree house

11)braid Sayid's hair when he's sleeping

12)stand with your face inches from a sleeping lostie, then laugh hysterically when they wake up and freak out

13)throw coconuts at people

14)make Aaron a shirt that says "beware of attack baby"

15)shave off Sawyer's eyebrow when he's sleeping

16)follow Jack around with a can of lysol and spray everything he touches

17)draw a treasure map and convince stupid people to go and find the treasure

18)chain Vincent to Sawyer

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ok, well I decided to post another chapter before I left (mostly because I was bored) it's not as long but...

Oh, and if anyone reading this watches bones, I have a fic up. I posted that today but I haven't gotten any reviews yet... so if you have time could you read it and write something? Thanks.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the show, but I do own these crazy ideas

sorry it took so long for me to update this, you can blame it on my teachers who decided to give me tests in every subject this week (no joke)

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Chapter5:

1) sit in front of Desmond with your eyes closed and your hands over your ears. when he asks what you're doing say you are trying to contact him telepathically

2)ask Ben if he was conceived in a test tube

3)call Kate Special K

4)steal Desmond's picture and draw a beard and a mustache on Penny and him

5)inform Claire that she is now considered a robot in your eyes because of the chip the others put in her

6)ask Hurley to buy you a pony

7)replace Sawyer's note with a blank piece of paper

8)jump up and down in front of Jack saying "guesswhat?IhaveADHD!"

9)calmly inform people that you are converting to cannibalism and are going to eat them

10)steal Locke's knives and throw them in people's "general direction"

11)dress up as Juliet and argue with her that you are the "real" Juliet

12)create your own traps and laugh when people get caught in them

13)bury Sawyer in the sand in the shape of a mermaid

14)steal he parachute and run around pretending to fly

15)point out to Jack and Claire how similar they are

16)go squirrel hunting, invite others

17)run up to Sayid, pinch his nose, and run away yelling "I've got your nose, I've got your nose!"

18)constantly call Sawyer Tex

19)find the island pony and randomly put him in people's tents

20)make Ben a badge that says:

Do

Harm

Anyone

Resisting

My

Authority

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reviews make me happy!

I can't wait for the season finale!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Ok, sorry I haven't updated this in forever, but I've been going insane because of finals. Now that I actually have a second to breathe, here's the next chapter:

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Chapter 7:

1) set up a tea party for Hurley, Ben, and their invisible friends.

2)say seriously to Ben "you may have bombs and deadly gases, but we have sticks!"

3) tell Jack that it wasn't very nice of him to sacrifice Sayid, Jin and Bernard for his own safety

4)then proceed to make every woman on the island a 'chicks with sticks' T shirt.

5)collect all the baby items on the plane and pile them in Kate's tent.

6)steal the tape and record yourself singing 'I feel pretty' over Ben and Juliet's messages.

7)chase Ben around whispering "save me, save me!'

8)ask Jack to throw Kate's baby shower.

9)leave a sign that says 'Jacob didn't save me' next to Locke.

10)steal the Dharma vans and race each other.

11) inform Charlie that the letter that he gave Desmond is now unreadable because he dove into the water with it in his pocket.

12) strategically place frogs outside of Sawyer's tent

13) stalk Jack asking if he loves you as much as he loves Kate

14) inform Jack that his dad could not possibly be as drunk as he is because his dad is dead...

15) run through the camp screaming "Walt's back!" then ask if there are any blondes who want to stalk through the jungle looking for him.

16) declare Patchy immortal and have a contest to see who can actually kill him (seriously, how many times has that guy died and come back to life?)

17) stare at Jack thoughtfully and say "the beard really makes you look homeless."

18) make a sign that says 'Hurley saved us all ; Sawyer did nothing'

19) tickle Ben's nose with a feather while he's tied up

20) try electric shock therapy on Jack to help his drug problem

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these are getting alot harder to think of, so if anyone has any put them in a review and I'll post them in the next couple chapters.

after the season finale I've decided I like Juliet, basically because of the combacks she gave Sawyer.


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